Liveblogging the Oscars: Red Carpet

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It's time for everyone's favorite industry-wide public masturbation session, The Academy Awards!  Let's get some foreplay going with some fashion & celeb snark, shall we?  (We shall, and we shall be referring to the E! Red Carpet for you viewers at home.)



Kevin Spacey and Ryan Seacrest are exemplifying why celebs should usually not talk politics.  You can't talk about the power of social media for Tunisian riots in one breath and say you're wearing Gucci in the next without seeming awfully out of touch.  Also, funny that Spacey dropped his "theatre company in London" when his theater company's office is on the same floor as mine in Soho.  New York City Soho.

Timberlake.  YES.  And his mom's gown is gorgeous but she needs a fitting.  Please ladies, know your bra size.

Michelle Williams looks ridiculous fabulous.  So does Florence Welch.  More evidence that personal style always wins over trends.  Also winning this category: Helena Bonham Carter.

Commercial break!  Have you seen Natalie Portman's Chanel ad? Super hot:



Could Helen Mirren be any more gorgeous?  If I am half as beautiful at her age - hell, now - I will feel like I won the lottery.

I'm really enjoying the shots of the actors being handled by their publicists.  We know who's really running the show.

I am so glad Christian Bale's wife seems cool because I can tell myself my only celebrity crush ever is in good hands and I can move on. *fist bump*

Who is McConaughey's date?!  Too gorgeous!

As much as I am not a fan of Celine Dion, she does look fabulous.

Mark Wahlberg is superclassy.  He "already won because he has a wonderful family" - that one even won over my cynical heart.  He always comes across as humble and grounded.  #win

Oh no.  No no no.  No disrespect to Givenchy, but Cate Blanchett looks like a character from Episode Two Attack of the Clones or something.

Oh no again.  Portman looks a) terrified, and b) terrible - maternity or no, that dress just looks cheap and that color isn't doing anything for her.  It's a shame because she's going to win.  It's also a shame that no one will call out a bad dress on a pregs woman.  MIA won the maternity awards show getup pretty much for all time anyway.

So far ScarJo is topping my worst-dressed list.  But I can't stand her anyway so it's fitting, much like her wretched burgundy lace number.

Oh to wear gowns as part of your job!  Too fabulous.  This is my Super Bowl.  On to the awards...