When I am Mayoress... Parenting

More parenting posts!  Don't worry, I'm not nine months out or anything so your dreams of a mini-Mayoress will just have to remain delicious fantasies.

Check out this comment on Jezebel's post about the Daily Mail article on nannies' opinions of their employers:

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I am a nanny and have an agent that sends me on interviews when I'm not employed. I recently went to one for a woman who doesn't work, and already has both a full time nanny and maid. She was looking for a second nanny for her 3 kids. She told me I would be the "fun" nanny and she would expect me to entertain them constantly. She told me I'd have to stay every day until they were asleep because when the kids went to bed she took one child, the other nanny took one child, but then there was a third child with no one to help put her down (like the child's father).

My agent called her to ask her why I didn't get the job and she told him that I was lovely, but that she didn't feel comfortable ordering around an American girl and would prefer a Puerto Rican or South American. Yeah.

Now, you guys know I have strong feelings on parenthood, mainly rooted in my belief that procreating should be a decision, not a given.  But when I wield the limitless power of Mayoress, people deciding to become parents will have to at least pass a simple test first, like...



True or false: 

1. Soda and sugar can make your child go apeshit crazy in public places.
2. The appropriate place for a stroller at a restaurant is in the middle of an aisle.
3. It's okay if my kid screams on the subway because, hey, your hangover, your problem.
4. A good way to bond with my kid is to put him/her on my reality show and/or blog, with real names and photos.
5. Should my kid open a lemonade stand (or painted shells should we have a Fire Island house), he/she will price his/her products fairly and provide excellent customer service.
6. If my kid is cute (based on other people telling me so), I will encourage him/her to enter pageants and other preliminary entertainment career contests where others can judge/award him/her.
7. Designer denim diapers = great and important idea!
8. The Mayoress can be their godmother.*

On the side of the family mentioned in the comment: word, the only way I am pushing one out buying one is if I have limitless funds to check out whenever I need to.  Just sayin'.  And if you think that's awful, lucky you!  Because I'm not having kids.  However, if all the "I told you so's" win, don't fear I will behave like above mother.  On the contrary, I have no trouble ordering around any nanny of any race, preferably a 28-year old Spanish male soccer player.

But on the real, it's very upsetting that nannies, or any employees, don't have access to the same rights as other workers, including sexual harassment protection, benefits, overtime, a way to express concerns without fear of firing, etc.

*It's a trick question.  Answer: TRUE!!!!