Tuesday, January 10, 2012

In Which The Mayoress Bribes La Policia

Add this one to my negative campaign PR list, opponents!

Yes, it's true - my second mayoral campaign-threatening run-in with the law happened only days into the New Year.

I'm not going to get into the sordid details, but suffice it to say that I was NOT actually participating in any law-breaking activities, that a Mexican policeman can in fact turn out to be quite enjoyable when mimicking his perception of lawbreaking activities in order to illustrate his point, and that a mere 400 pesos can keep you out of handcuffs and give you an excellent blog post to boot.  A bargain, I say!

The Mayoress Makes Some Resolutions for 2012

Can you believe it, dear constituents?  It's not only a new year, it's an election year, and will mark the fourth year of Meet the Pressler.  How the time does fly, much like a soaring bald eagle in the opening credits of The Colbert Report.

I swore in 2008 that a) if the Republicans won, I would move out of the country for a year, or b) no matter who won, I would be out of here for the 2012 election cycle.  I was just too exhausted from the emotion, involvement, and constant news onslaught of '08.

But here we are, it's 2012, and I don't plan on leaving the country (disregard the fact that I am currently out of the country).  So, in accordance with keep my sanity and yours as we enter Obama v Romney (prediction!), here are my three 2012 resolutions to you:

1. I'm going to stay more objective.  Not because I am - barring any major revelations, I'm voting for Obama, let's just get that out of the way (more on why later).  But rather than get emotional about it...

2. I'm going to go all pundit on your ass.  Opinions backed up by sorta facts but mostly other opinions!  But for serious, if I distance myself a bit in order to evaluate strategic moves, especially when it comes to my specialty of marketing and PR, I'll emerge far less emotionally exhausted.  Also, watch for me on CNN or MSNBC or Comedy Central.  Don't blink!

3. I'm going to wear my now-vintage Obama tank from '08 more often.  I can't resist gold metallic, people.  Gold metallic!